Corporate bullshit dictionary
BD — Business Development
- The role you give to people who do things but you don’t know what to call what they do.
COB — Close of Business
- See EOD.
CTA — Call to Action
- Something (potentially bullshit) you put at the end of a blogpost to get people to do things.
EBC — Executive Briefing Center
- Let me know if you figure this one out. I think it’s talking to your customers.
EOD — End of Day
- See COB.
KPI — Key Performance Indicator
- The thing you will measure to know whether something is good or not.
OKR — Objectives and Key Results
- Objectives - high level things you want to do, for instance “grow revenue 10%”
- Key results - things to do to get there, for instance “close three deals”. Usually each objective will have several results attached.
P&L — Profit and Loss
- Statement of how much money came in and how much went out, and in what form.
POR — Plan of Record
- A thing you write down to say what you’re going to do.
PRD — Product Requirements Document
- A document outlining what a product should do.
PTO — Paid Time Off
- Annual leave. Holiday.
RFP — Request For Proposal
- Business asks other businesses to bid to solve a problem.
SE — Solutions Engineer or Sales Engineer
- Yeah, I thought it meant software engineer too. Enterprises don’t talk about software engineers.
SKU — Stock Keeping Unit
- A thing that you can sell. Even if that’s “consulting”, there’ll be an SKU associated with how you consult. For instance, “8 hours onsite” might be a SKU.
SMART — Specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, time-bound
- Set of criteria for goals. As in “is the goal SMART?”
SME — Subject Matter Expert
- Yes, the way enterprise operates, the actual subject is secondary, and apparently worth abstracting over.
SOW — Statement of Work
- The thing that defines what you’re actually going to do, usually for a client or project, and when you’re going to do it. Generally written defensively so that if you do nothing you still get paid.
- V2MOM — Vision, Values, Methods, Obstacles and Measures